How to get Your Baby to Sleep Without Sleep Training

Why is sleep so important?

Sleep is the number one concern of new parents but often they are afraid to work on it because many believe the only way to achieve sleep means “sleep training”, “crying it out”, or compromising their baby in some way, and this doesn’t sit well with most. 

Sleep is a basic human need for both babies and parents alike, yet sleep deprivation in parenthood is much more prevalent than adequate rest (something I hope to change). “A recent survey from Owlet Baby Care found that nearly half of all parents with children six months or younger get just one to three hours of uninterrupted sleep a night” yet the CDC recommends “7 or more hours of nighttime sleep” for adults aged 18 - 60 years old.

With approximately 130 million babies born worldwide every year, this means there are at least 65 million people trying to survive on such little sleep each day. And, this probably doesn’t account for the millions of other parents who have let society normalize sleep deprivation in parenthood, nor the millions of other people who believe that consciously depriving themselves of sleep will lead to more productivity…neither of which are true.

At times, sleep deprivation is even worn as a badge of honor in parenthood, as if she who suffers the most somehow loves more. There is no replacement for sleep, nor is there any biological reason for a baby to be up at night once they are physically able to consume enough calories during the daytime to not have a need to eat at night, something that is typically possible by about 8 - 12 weeks old. 

Since there are so many misconceptions surrounding what infant and toddler sleep is, I want to help parents understand… 

1. …how easy it is to get their baby to sleep without sleep training
2. …how they can and should start working towards sleep from birth
3. …how they can easily achieve sleep without ever having to leave their baby to cry
4. …how they can be responsive to their child always AND get sleep
5. …how they can hold their baby and help their baby and this actually SUPPORTS sleep.

So how do we achieve sleep without “sleep training”? 

‍By adopting a simple needs-based approach to infant sleep that ensures your baby’s food and sleep needs are fully, age-appropriately, & consistently met during the daytime hours, so when they are able, they naturally stop waking at night. I believe it is possible to achieve this by 8 - 12 weeks old, and have even seen babies as young as 6 weeks old do this naturally when starting from birth. 

The beauty of this approach is that you can begin at any age to work towards consistent nighttime sleep. It’s never “too late” to start working towards achieving a basic human need…sleep!

3 reasons babies wake at night

Okay, so here’s how I see it…I believe babies wake at night for 3 primary reasons:

1. They are hungry.
2. They are overtired.
3. They got too much daytime sleep.

I refer to these 3 reasons as “ingredients” and I want to explain how each plays a role in establishing & maintaining consistent nighttime sleep, without crying it out.

‍They are hungry.

From birth, babies cannot physically consume enough food during the daytime hours, and therefore they wake at night to feed so they can meet their caloric needs for development, energy, and growth. As they get bigger & bigger each week, they can eat slightly more at each feed, and if you work to keep your baby “full” based on their age/size, you will see feedings start to consolidate, and the need to feed at night lessen and ultimately stop.

As long as you maintain age-appropriate full feedings, your baby should continue to sleep at night.

‍They are overtired.

How long your baby stays awake plays an important role in their ability to consistently sleep through the night. I believe parents should use age-appropriate Optimal Wake Times (OWT) to help ensure their baby never gets overtired in any period. When babies stay awake longer than they should, their cortisol levels rise and they become irritable and overtired…and this can cause frequent nighttime wakings.

I believe over tiredness is one of the main things that prevent babies from being able to consistently connect sleep cycles, day and night.

As long as you work to ensure your baby never becomes overtired in any period, they should continue to take great naps and sleep through the night.

It’s important to note that OWT changes frequently during the first year, and that staying on top of those monthly (and sometimes weekly) changes is an important ingredient in infant sleep.

‍They got too much daytime sleep.

Biologically, humans can only sleep “x” amount of hours in a 24-hour period. Baby humans are no different. If your baby sleeps too much during the daytime, they may not be able to consistently sleep through the night.

Age-appropriately limiting your baby’s daytime sleep, to ensure 12-hours of nighttime sleep is possible, is an important ingredient in preventing night wakings.

I always say, “either you wake your baby during the day, or they will wake you at night.”

Typically nighttime sleep disruptions & inconsistencies are due to one of or a combination of these infant sleep ingredients not being consistently & age-appropriately met. I believe when we do meet baby’s needs fully during the daytime hours, they stop waking at night, and this is how we alleviate the need to cry it out and/or sleep train.

If you have a newborn and would like access to a 13-page guide on what you can be doing from birth to work on sleep, click here for a FREE DOWNLOAD.

If you want to learn a simple, 3-step method that will help you align your baby with nature by supporting their age-appropriate needs fully, click here to learn more about The Full Feedings Method® and for as little as $9.99/month (3-month minimum) you can achieve sleep for your family.

For more gentle sleep tips, follow @fullfeedings on Instagram or email hellosleep@fullfeedings.com with any questions.

To sleeping well,

Ann Marks

Founder

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